Monday, March 06, 2006

My House

I built my house myself. I have a loyal pet dog to protect it from those who don't belong. As soon as I was able, I began building my house. I started building my house so long ago, I don't even recall the year I began its construction. In fact, I don't even recall why I began building my house but that's not important - because everyone needs a house, right? At least that's what they tell me. I love my house. I wouldn't be without it.

It's not that I feel any strong hatred toward others, but I feel uneasy allowing just anyone to enter my house - unless they get along with my dog. You see, there are rooms in my house which generally, I don't allow access to. But the best guests - the guests that get to see the main rooms - are the ones who have pets agreeable to my dog. And if they have a dog of the exact same breed, they can see any room in my house - except the cellar. Even I rarely go there. I haven't been in the cellar for years - not since I adopted my dog. I have to keep my dog away from the cellar. He barks, yelps, growls and whimpers when near its door.

Indeed, my house is something extraordinary. When sitting in the living room you can see the whole world through an extremely large picture window made of hope. The blinds are woven using only quality thread imported from desire. Attached to the living room is the den where I spend a significant amount of time by the fireplace constructed from pure joy. No matter the weather, my house keeps my dog and I comfortable. The roof and walls are composed entirely of sweet dreams. The kitchen is fully equipped with a dishwasher, oven, refrigerator and sink made using only the finest of bliss. When I have guests, we often gather in the games room. There I have a pool table, dartboard, shuffleboard, big-screen TV, and a fully stocked bar assembled using 100% pure pleasure. And each night I know I'm guaranteed a restful sleep in my king-sized bed - its frame shaped entirely out of love. The mattress? 20% delight, 80% gratification.

The garage is disconnected from my house, though easily accessible. I don't really spend much time in the garage. In fact, I'd never go in it if possible. However, I use it every day to park my car, which I need to get to work. But make no mistake about it, it's a solid garage - built from the ground up using only the best pain and suffering available.

So that's my house. Feel free to drop me a line if you'd ever like to see my house. Of course, first I'll have to check with my dog. His name is Belief. If my dog agrees with you, then you're welcome to come see the place. As long as you don't go near the cellar there shouldn't be a problem.

2 Comments:

Blogger Stephen said...

Interesting to read this in reference to your earlier comments about God and belief.

What is in the cellar?

19:51  
Blogger aNDy said...

I have been trying to clean my cellar for a long time... I did quite a good job I think... but the cellar still isn't a good site to see!!! The best I can do is to raise mt children not to build a cellar for their house at all.

16:09  

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